Post Lent

Easter has come & gone.  Lent is over. 

It was my intent to do a devotional reading every day during Lent.  I failed.  

Devotions are not something i find easy.  Partly because i lack in discipline, but there are other reasons as well.

I signed up for two different ones, one Lutheran (L), one Episcopalian (E), to be sent to me via email daily.  My goal was to do more scripture reading.  The L devotional did use scripture, & early in Lent i would often look up (usually on the computer) the scripture & read more than what they printed.

The E devotional, however, had a number of different items at the top.  On occasion they used scripture but more often a reading from a hymnal or the prayer book or another "inspirational" source.  Then the devotion would be that person's thoughts.  While it usually had a spiritual tone to it, frankly, it was fluff.  

Sometimes i read the devotionals daily as they came in, other times i went back & did several days at a time.  (Flavors of Ashleigh Brilliant, a paraphrase:  I try to take it one day at a time, but sometimes the days gang up on me.)  I didn't necessarily want to do deep Bible study, but i wasn't all that interested in fluff, either.  

I need to find something else for me because i want this to go beyond Lent.  Probably not devotionals but simply reading the scripture.  However, i bought two books about devotionals & i'll write about them another time.  One is bluntly honest & describes very well the feelings i've had about them.

(I find i tend to do split infinitives.  Gotta work on that.)

Passion as such has gone.  And i do struggle with a lot of different emotion especially bitterness  Yet some peace remains.  It is as if i'm open to possibilities that were closed to me before.  I plan to feed that all that i can.  :)

 

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Sunday, Sunday

Technically, Sundays are not counted as the days of Lent.

We visited a small Baptist Church this AM.  I'd not been to a Baptist Church in many, many years.  I was really excited to visit this church.  They've a lovely website that shows a group of people committed & excited to be part of this church.  They also have all age groups represented.  We found the website to be an accurate representation of this church.  They were friendly & excited.  But i kind of over looked doctrine.

I don't worship the Bible.  I worship God.  I believe the Bible is God's Word & his instructions to us & so much more.  But i don't worship the book.  I'd forgotten that some churches lean toward that.  

One thing amused Duane & i greatly.  This pastor said that he believes that this little church will be instrumental in a revival of this valley, because, "We are the only ones doing it right in following God."  Afraid i smirked, because he must have seen my face (there were about 20 people there) & he said, "If our visitors have a problem with that, i would gladly discuss it."

But the amusement i had (& Duane shared) was that a small part of the reason we aren't attending the Lutheran church much is that the pastor believes they are "doing it right" when (almost) no one else is.  The Lutheran pastor actually identified one other church in this area he felt was following the Lord.  We found it quite amusing that one of the (many) reasons we're church hopping should be part of this church's sermon.  We also know that essentially all the churches believe that they are the only ones "doing it right." 

I love the Lord, i seek to follow Jesus, & i (of course) like & am comfortable with my own belief system.  But what works for me may not work for you.  (I'm not talking about essentials to the faith here, but worship & service styles.)  I firmly believe that when we come before the Lord no one will have "had it all right." I think we're rather like the blind men & the elephant.

There were some things this pastor did that i appreciated.  When he was giving interpretation of a scripture he did often identify it as his opinion. There were other things as well, but my brain is beginning to fog over.

The Lenten devotions this week have been on the Transfiguration & the "mountain top" experience of Jesus, with Peter, James, & John.  People often talk of "mountain top" experiences with excitement, but i think they aren't always pleasant.  I had a friend who recently had severe altitude sickness while on a trip.  I wonder if it was pleasant for Peter, James, & John?  One of the scriptures indicates they were terrified.  I'm sure it was amazing, but not particularly comfortable.  

This has been rather a challenging week.  The migraine may be a mixture of sinus headache.  But it is there & has been for a while.  I have another "pseudo-cold" which means a latent virus i carry shows up when i'm stressed or have allergies & then i have cold symptoms (& almost always a really nasty cough) without being contagious.  

This sounds like it belongs on my "regular" blog, but there is a reason for the background.  

I'd hired someone to come help me make meals & do some clean up.  I spent quite a lot of $$ this week in anticipation of making a lot of food for us to freeze for the days when i've no energy.  Then i got sick.  

I would never have someone at my house if i thought i was contagious.  Or, on a rare occasion, i would work something out where i stayed away from them while they cooked.  Or i'd have them take the food & recipes & make it somewhere else, then bring it in (& probably pay much more).  But at least the food wouldn't spoil because i was too sick to manage.  When my help person heard i was sick, she chose not to come.  I can't blame her, but again, i wouldn't ask it if i thought i was contagious.  

So, we went into panic mode here as i tried to manage the food that i'd bought that won't last.  (Now that i've said that, the strawberries are probably toast.)  I wasn't thinking & i made the pot roast for Duane (i still cook meat for him sometimes; i'm not trying to force him to be vegetarian) on Friday.  He helped, & between us we got it in the crockpot & i went back to bed.

But that night he told me he thought it ironic that i served meat on a Friday in Lent.  Ok, i wasn't raised Catholic.  Even when i've attended a liturgical church, "rules of Lent" are not my focus.  He just laughed it off.  He isn't much on following the "rules" either.  Except, i get the feeling he'd be more comfortable with vegetarian or fish on a Friday.  I'll try to remember.


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Day 2 of Lent

Day two!  

Duane was raised Roman Catholic, & his parents attend a local Catholic church.  But they will attend sometimes with us at either Lutheran or Anglican.

We all did imposition of ashes yesterday; Duane & i at the Anglican church, his mom & other relatives at the Catholic.  (An aunt & uncle & cousin & her husband are visiting.)


Today at lunch his mom asked at table, "Ok, what are the rules?  What do i have to give up for Lent?"  (There were donuts & desserts on the table from a previous day.)


I don't want to sound overly critical, but i don't like having "rules" imposed.  "Giving up" something for Lent is a form of self-denial & the idea is to replace what was "given up" with something that will help the person's spiritual path.  But i think that it should be a personal decision based on what will be effective for the person.  Or choosing not to do so.  I don't like this "these are the rules" idea.  (Someone posted the criticism on FB that the idea of a spiritual walk shouldn't be limited to a set few weeks in the spring.)  

I think, for some, that the "giving up of things" can be beneficial.  But i think, too, that it is too easy to fall into a group of rules that gives a superficial feeling of spirituality missing the deeper meaning.  


Just some random thoughts on this second day in the "Lent season."


Today's verses were on the Transfiguration.

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Ash Wednesday

I've always had the concept of penitence being "payment."  So the idea of penitence to me had been that i was "paying" for my sin.  That, of course, flies in the face of what Jesus did for us.


However, in looking it up, i find that my previous concept is not correct.  Penance/penitence is repentance - the desire to be forgiven.  

I don't really get the concept of "giving up" things for Lent.  When i was a child, the folks i knew who did that seemed to portray that they were paying for their sin, for being human, & (since it was other children) that it was a burden imposed on them by their parents & the church.  (So church this AM at 6 felt like one of those payments to me!) 

I do understand the concept of seeking the face of God, to walk more closely with God, & to seek to please God.  (Well, there is a lot of debate about whether we can please God, but i won't get into that.)


For Lent, i just want to bring myself to do what i've not been able to do before - have a daily devotional.  It probably won't look like what others do for a devotional, but that's ok.  I want to seek the foot of the cross each day & to be reminded of what my Lord has done for me.

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