Matthew 6

But you, when you pray, go into your room, and when you have shut your door, pray to your Father who is in the secret place; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you openly.   Matthew 6.6

I think it is a form of bragging about your own spirituality when you tell people how often you pray.

It seems to me that a lot of people are quick to admonish others to pray.  I'm sorry, but to me this is a pseudo form of spirituality.  We are called to be a community of believers.  When we admonish each other to pray, it sounds like we are being spiritual.  But often i think it covers up the fact that we don't want to deal with the uncomfortable - death or loss of jobs or addiction or alcoholism or children in trouble or serious illness.  It is uncomfortable to recognize that we are not able to "fix this" for each other, and since we can't "fix it," it is uncomfortable to have to listen to the pain another person is feeling.  So telling that person to pray is a quick and easy "fix."  Then we can walk away patting ourselves on the back that we were properly Christian about the whole thing.  

Why?

I'm not a person who asks, "Why?" often.  I think in particular, i don't ask that of God.  More than anything else because i don't expect i'll get an answer.  Any question to God that begins "Why . . . " seems to result in a default response of "Your question in not in a form to which i can respond."



That didn't have a lot of meaning to this post, just a gratuitous thought on questioning God.


My "why" question today is a little more direct.  "Why have we been going to this Lutheran church for over 3 years?"


Several times i've shared with other people different things that G has preached & with which i felt profound discomfort.  More than once the response has been, "And you're still going there?  Why are you still going there?" 



My answer has invariably been, "Because i feel God wants me there," or "I feel we are called to be there."



I will be frank, i'm not a big believer in "the will of God," or "God's perfect plan."  I tend to be more of the "lo que sera sera" ("what will be will be") mindset.  



But it felt right to be at that church.  There were many positive things that drew us there.  So it was right, until it wasn't any more.  The "it isn't right anymore" happened very quickly.  We had talked about our issues, worried over them, prayed about it, etc. for months, even a year or more.  Then between about the 27th of May & the 4th of June, bam!  It was done.  



Part of the reason that i felt it right to be at that church for so long was that i felt it was "stretching" me.  Duane & i spent much time discussing the homilies G gave, & where we disagreed & why & what our own beliefs are, & what we felt the scripture meant.  I think this has probably strengthened my faith more than i could begin to imagine.  



I'm not boasting in my strength, but i can frankly say that i feel very strong in my faith.  It rather surprises me how strong i feel.  It is rather like i've been exercising a muscle for the past months/years & now, when it is called upon, it responds in a manner that is so easy i'm shocked.  I know that had this happened a few years ago, i would have been devastated. 


When i was in a difficult place many years ago, i used the analogy of a plant.  I told someone that i had a scrawny plant of faith, maybe just a couple of wilted leaves on it.  But that the root, while tiny, maybe not much more than a thread, went very, very deep & was rooted & grounded.  I'm currently feeling like that plant of faith has grown a lot & maybe even blossomed.


In many ways i considered myself a "spiritual weakling**."  In many ways i am.   I still struggle with bitterness & disappointment.  I still don't understand many of the things in the world i find so incredibly perplexing.  I'm still going to be talking about the book on spiritual doubt that i've mentioned.  But i do know very well the things i do believe & i hang onto them tightly. 



I also see timing as critical.  I don't know if what i hope to happen will happen, but the timing was important.  IF we had left even 2 weeks sooner than we did, we would not have heard G's sermons that crossed from questionable into definite heresy.  Because we were there to witness that, we were able to bring it to the elders' attention.  



G has gone on defensive.  M told me G said, "I have teeth" (from my post on the 13th).   Duane said, in response to this, that it is the dog who feels cornered who bites.  If G really wasn't threatened by our charges, he wouldn't need to bite.  


I don't think the changes i think this church needs & i hope will happen will occur, certainly not very soon.  But we hope seeds are planted that will produce the awareness of the need for change.   



We have not heard anything from the church.  Duane doesn't think we will.  I can't imagine that they won't respond.  It seems to me that even just a letter stating that "they" (whether the elders or council, i don't know - probably not the congregation) voted & upheld G's stand.  Thus far we have heard nothing. 






** Oh Me of Little Faith

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Interesting

The class i'm currently taking is a hands-on class about healing.  Some time ago now, Dr. John Upledger discovered that working with certain rhythms within the body (the CranioSacral rhythm, which much of current medical model doesn't even yet recognize) would help a person heal & often very dramatically.  

Because this rhythm is very subtle, the work is gentle & also very subtle.  This spills over into energy work & other "woo-woo" practices.  Yet it does work & often very powerfully.

Yesterday in class i was looking at the group formations & how they were doing certain energy-healing techniques.  What i found most fascinating was that the groups looked like some prayer-healing groups i have attended.  (Okay, i think i've only been to 2 or 3 of these, but the groupings looked similar.  Also the stance & attitude of the folks involved.)  

I think i've said before that "new age" stuff doesn't scare me.  I find that often they have "tapped into" something that God has created.  The folks who credit "the universe" or something similar just haven't met the author & creator of the energy/techniques which they are using.

 

That is how i see much of the work in this particular workshop.  I don't know the beliefs of Dr. Upledger, but it seems to me that he has "discovered" much of the type of healing that is done by prayer & laying on of hands.

I am not ashamed of Jesus, nor to be affiliated with Christ our Lord, but i do hesitate to identify myself as "Christian."  It seems to me that the meaning of that word is largely lost in our society, & identifying myself as "Christian" can lead to many misunderstandings.

On break today i mentioned to another lady that i am a Christian & how that the work we'd done the day before reminded me of laying on of hands/prayers for healing.

Her comment was that she is a Christian, but that she doesn't believe that Jesus is the only way to God.  She mentioned other "enlightened" prophets thru the centuries.  I wasn't as blunt as to tell her that not believing Jesus is the only path to God by default/definition means that she is not a Christian, but i did discuss the various beliefs, & how that Jesus, to Christian belief, is unique among all the "enlightened prophets."

This does seem to be common in our culture:  Believing that simply having a belief in "God" or a "higher power" makes on a Christian.  

Right or wrong, good or bad, (even tho this sounds rigid & i don't like that) to be "Christian" requires more than just "belief."  It isn't a vague set of values.  It requires a commitment & sometimes it requires things i don't personally care for.  I don't fully understand God as presented by the Bible (& you could be worried about me if i said that i do).  There is much about God that i'm not even sure i like.  

But i do believe that God is good.  That he loves us & expressed that love by sending Jesus.  That to reject Jesus is to reject God.  

So, even tho i don't understand, i trust that what he says is true.  

I don't know where i'm going with this post.  Just recording some observations about the class & this lady's comments which i found interesting.

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