I can't promise

 . . . that this will be my last post about the Lutheran church.  Right now it has a lot of importance in my mind & so i keep going over & over it.  


I will post also, when we have some answer from the church.  


Part of me wants to demand (shriek, scream) at G:  WHAT is your problem?  HOW can you treat the children of God in such a manner?


Part of me feels incredibly sad that he must be in a bad place to preach so.  I think he works under a great deal of fear & that is largely driving all that he says & does.


Please don't misunderstand me.  I'm not speaking of what has happened to us, but to the way he treats the congregation during service.  He rants & shames.  He is not like that most other times.  He can be very kind & considerate & is most of the time.  I do believe he has a "pastor's heart."  


But the way he preaches is not kind & i think he must see God as a very angry, vengeful God.  I see no other way that he can preach so much anger, guilt, hate, shame & fear.  He seems (in my opinion) to treat the congregation like a group of very slow children instead of intelligent, mature adults.  BUT THEY LET HIM DO IT!


I ran into a member of the congregation in a store today.  M greeted me heartily (i did choose to go talk to him; i'm not going to run away from folks i know).  He said, "I've not seen you at church in a while."


"You're not likely to, either," i responded.  "G has ex-communicated us for going to other churches."


M didn't know about it because he takes the children during the homily & doesn't hear the sermon.  He did say that as he was returning to his seat that G had said, "I have teeth."


I don't know if that remark was made this week or last.  If it was this week i've not much hope for a positive outcome on G's part.  It would mean that he spent today's homily justifying his cause against our charge of non-Biblical teaching.  It means that he won't accept what we've said but is going to rail against us & the charge.  It means he will continue taking it out on the congregation.  It means the elders won't put a check on him.  It means things won't change. 


Frankly, i'm dismayed at this idea.  It bothers me.


But i've prayed thru the afternoon that whatever happens i will be able to simply walk away.  Not to have my ego involved.  I can't make things happen.  I'm not even sure that i would know the best.  I need to do my best to continue to love the people but not be caught up in the mess.  It isn't my church, anyway, nor is it G's church.  The church belongs to God & the people belong to God.  


This isn't the first time that uncomfortable things have happened in this church.  This church split in half a year or so after G arrived to be pastor.  I've been told that there was a lady who wanted to "run things" & disagreed with G on a number of things & began spreading rumors & gossip throughout the church.  


I can't help but wonder if some of that was spin.  If she was concerned about some of the things G was teaching, did she try to confront it?  Duane & i have worked very hard to severely limit what we say to members so as to NOT be guilty of spreading disaffection, but i can't help but wonder if that will be the spin that the people are told about us. 


Anyway, M wished me well, "Go with God," & assured me it will be brought up at council meeting (we used to be on the council together).  


The outcome is God's.  I have much i would like to say to the elders, but regardless of whether i have the opportunity, i need to detach.  Let go.  Stop obsessing.  (I don't find that easy.)

Go with God, & be assured that he promises to work all things to his glory.



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