04 June 2010

Resolved - & relieved

Yesterday after writing, i called G (the Lutheran Pastor) & made an appointment for us to meet with him for lunch next Saturday.  Except Duane informed me he wouldn't be available due to SAR commitments.  So i intended to call G back & reschedule, but looking at Duane's calendar, it wasn't going to be easy to find a date.

I got a call from G today.  He said he had an uncomfortable conversation/question.  Someone had told him we were attending other churches, which took him quite by surprise.  Is it true?

Yes, i said that was one of the things we wanted to talk to him about but hadn't known how to approach it.  He said that if we want a meeting now, it will have to be in the presence of all the elders.

He also said that we will be welcome to worship & have fellowship at the church now, but we are no longer able to take communion or to vote at meetings. 


"That's fine."  I responded.  


We actually had a better conversation than he & i have had for a long time.  I told him i'm very disturbed by some of the doctrine being preached (& that the issue is mine, not Duane's).  He told that although we are attending another church doesn't mean that we "are going to hell" & that while other churches have different forms, that doesn't mean they are wrong.  I did not point out to him that this is, well, not 180 degrees from what he has said from the pulpit, but it is about 150 (maybe 170) off.  


He also said that if i'm struggling with the doctrine preached,  that his church is not the one for me.  It was all very cordial.  My adrenals didn't go crazy (as often happens for me when i'm confronted).  My heart rate didn't go up nor did my breathing get shallow.  I did not confront him with anything but simply said that we wanted him to know that the reason we are leaving is not because we're angry over an incident.  (There have been plenty of incidents, but largely they have happened a day or two after we have decided to make a big change.  The incidents only confirmed what we had already decided.)


He said he will be preaching on this on the coming Sunday because the folks who knew we were attending other churches didn't see a problem with it.  (Honestly, we don't either.)  He said he was more disturbed that they saw no problem with it than to find that we've been doing it.  

I would, frankly, be interested in knowing what he says, for i don't understand the issue.  

Also, it occurs to me that while he has preached from the pulpit a lot - negatively - about other churches & how they are not "doing it right" or that they've removed the crosses (which we have found not to be true) that he is preventing people from learning the truth about this if attending another church means the threat of ex-communication.  We didn't know that it was an ex-communicable sin to attend another church.  We were uncomfortable because he didn't know, but didn't know how to tell him.  Also, we know some folks who are "members" - they grew up in the church & show up maybe twice a year.  If they should find this church not satisfying, they are being prevented from attending another? 


I think we both are a little stunned that we have been told that we can attend but not receive communion.  (This Lutheran church is far more like a Catholic church than they are ever willing to admit.)  We knew that we might be told we weren't welcome there any more.  But attendance without communion is a surprise.  


I have an old bulletin here.  I think the wording has been changed some, but this one states:  "Holy Communion is being celebrated here today.  We welcome those who share our Biblical faith and understanding of the sacrament."  This is stated in some form in each & every bulletin. 


Duane said, "So anyone coming in off the street can take communion there, but we can't?"


Well, it is just like their stand on confirmation.  We disagree with this church quite a bit on confirmation.  First off, for a long time they didn't even consider someone for confirmation until they were 14, then 12.  Duane & i strongly feel some children are ready for it long before then.  When we expressed this opinion, the response from the church committee was, "Well, we can't do it any younger than that, or we'd be just like the Catholics!"  *Um, excuse me?*


I believe that confirmation or not, adults can reach an age & readiness to make their own decision whether or not to receive communion apart from confirmation.  This church evidently didn't have anyone to do confirmation for many years, & there are some young adults (in their mid-20s now) who were raised in this church, didn't go thru confirmation, & still on occasion attend.  They can not take communion.  But any teen visiting from off the hill & who attends, can take communion with no questions asked, confirmation status is not questioned.  


Because the church knows the ones who grew up here, but doesn't know the others.  I'm sorry, that is just wrong.


That is the situation in which we are currently. 


Because a liturgical service with communion is important to us, this church, while telling us we are still free to attend, has shut its doors to us.  


Tomorrow will be interesting as there is a memorial service for someone who was important to us.  I'm not going to skip it because of this.  


While over all it went well & it made things easy for us - i now feel free to do as i need to do without being afraid of what the repercussions could be - i guess i am somewhat nonplussed.  



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Wife, wanted to be a mama - not going to happen, massage therapist, child of God. I can be emailed at: 4Kat2009@gmail.com